IDEA: Sir, is it possible we have things completely backwards? Perhaps it is the candles that go in the bath and the woman who goes on the tray.

wh–do other people with vaginas jerk off in the tub!? I specifically stopped taking baths because my snatch kept slurping water then ejecting it into my underwear later. Yick.

I wish women were real. They're so pretty.

...remind me not to eat off any of your dishes

instructions unclear listened to an entire season of a podcast, am still unwashed but soaking wet, my water bill is now $500, and my fingers are pruny

attach suction cups to one side

remember to clean your jets regularly i saw a video of someone cleaning the jets for someone who didn't know you had to clean them and i will never enter a mystery jacuzzi again oh god 🫠

Yeah it can get really disgusting if you don't maintain it.

That has another 2 degrees of freedom and could slide around a lot.

I’m one of them and I have no idea… why would you want to sit in your own filth? I’m also not a fan of swimming pools or jacuzzis.

Suite yourself.

From what I've read about them in books they seem really great

By god that might just be it!

Now there's a mental image.

They make boats out of the stuff, I'm sure it will be fine.

I did not know that about cunt physics

I don't know that weed could ever bring about the same effects and consequences. iirc it was ketamine that Chandelier used

would it be more or less embarrassing to tell people the truth or that you just peed yourself?

just become one.

haha fortunately it only happened at home & not an amount that would have made it outside clothes anyway

I'm the kind of person that tells internet strangers that my cunt vacuumed bath water. you bet I'd be slinging that cognitohazard of truth to anyone unlucky enough to be present lmao