This is my hell.

Humans are the literal worst.

It's the fucking trolley warriors....they take as much stuff as possible inside the cabin, to avoid checking baggage.
Of course the time they save at the baggage belt, they waste for themselves and everybody else when disembarking the plane.

Seeing the crowd of people squeeze off the Airplane like a tube of toothpaste only to all congregate around baggage claim is the same energy as passing aggressively on the street only for you to pull up next to them at the redlight.

Don’t do that. Don’t be the dickhead who stands and blocks everyone. You’re not going to move faster, but you will inconvenience everyone around you. This is stupid. Just be a normal human and wait your turn patiently so others can get their things. The door out is people-sized, and you’ll not extrude others by a few seconds, so sit the fuck down. It’s not about you. It looks like OP is one of these dickheads, standing in the aisle and blaming others for the congestion.

It’s not about moving off faster than everyone else, because that’s not how this works. Just fucking sit and wait like an adult. It’s not ‘get off the plane’, because you can’t. It’s ‘sit the fuck down’ and stop making it about you.

e: look at all those people seated in the forward rows, and OP standing in the aisle bunched against the first man in frame. All those seated people will have to wait to access their overheads until OP barges by, but it’s the others standing ahead of OP in the aisle who are the problem.

But it's not just saving time, I want my stuff to make it to my destination too, and too often it doesn't if you check it.

Blame the airlines for that. Some are still allowing free carry on, but charging $75 for a checked bag. This is entirely a problem created from airline greed.

it’s with one shoulder bag I usually just shove under my seat,

That isn't an option for those afflicted with long legs.

It's the same everywhere with humans, rushing to be everywhere to save 5 seconds. Which usually ends up in congestion and then it taking longer anyway. Just be patient guys, wait for the people in front of you.

If it was 200 clones of me, we would have gotten off the plane before it even finishes taxiing to the gate. We woulda kicked the emergency doors off and inflated those big slides to ride down the moment the tires touch the ground.

Do not bring tiktok content here too. We had ENOUGH of tiktok.

It's worse than drinking hydrochloric acid.

I flew back from Mexico to Seattle on Friday of last week. Somehow managed to stand up with my bag and walk directly to the front of the plane before any other joker even finished shuffling their asses in their seats. I was able to get to baggage before the conveyor started...

and for all my good luck, I was dealt a cock-slap to the cock: they forgot my luggage in the crew luggage bin on the plane since it was on the heavy side. I waited over an hour for my luggage. They ended up just sending it to my home the next day.

FML.

You have the long stride advantage so it evens out

I haaate when people from way back get in line in the aisle-way and it’s not their turn. So because the rest of us are patiently waiting, we get screwed? Quit cutting!

Today you are, wait till you are a little older or sustain a life changing injury. Should there be a class on flying etiquette-absolutely. But capitalism has changed the entire experience of what flying is making it a literal hellhole except for a few people in the front of the plane... Damn I couldn't get a better description of the USA today now if they only let everyone have firearms after say 4 hours into a flight

Do the ole leg into the aisle as soon as we land to prevent people like this lol

Yes. Learn to queue. It’s not hard, and it’s much more efficient – we all get there faster if you’re not barging

I put it under the seat during takeoff/landing, then move it under my legs the rest of the flight. Frees up space for your feet while providing additional support under your legs.

As long as you aren't packing that bag to the seams, consider just sliding your feet under the bag.

I tend to be a "1.5 bagger" in that I have a small duffel/backpack in the overhead and my backpack/messenger bag for inflight stuff. And the latter gives me easy access to my steam deck or my kobo but is also more than small enough I can just slide my legs under and get a significant amount of legroom. ALSO has the benefit of making me lean back in my seat which means I don't care if the person in front of me "reclines"

A buddy of mine is 6'5" and he is just in hell no matter what. Like, anything short of one of the enhanced legroom rows is gonna suck whether he has a bag under the seat or not.

I'm often the last to leave the plane. By the time I reach the passport control/baggage claim areas I'm barely having to wait. I've never really understood how other adults are always in such a damn rush.

I love that video (and enjoyed the paper) but even the modified Steffen is bullshit. People will inevitably sit in the wrong row (sometimes on purpose, sometimes because they didn't pay attention what number started that block of seats and can't tell if "13" in between two rows is the first or second, they looked at the wrong ticket, etc) and it still falls apart for the reason people want to get on a plane sooner than later: Overhead bins are too small for the amount of luggage on a plane and people are monsters who put ALL their bags up there before sitting down.

My understanding is that, in practice, the best model tends to be what Southwest used to do (before everyone figured out how to abuse it). You board by number/group and just sit wherever the fuck you want to. Families group up and as long as you are in teh first half or so you are all but guaranteed your preferred seat type (window/aisle).

Combine that with no large bags (under seat or checked. nothing in between) and you would have a REALLY effective model that all passengers hate.