đNo. More. Lemons. đplease. [Will Santino]
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Unless life gives you water and sugar too your lemonade is gonna really suck.
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Last year, in Sapporo, I went to a bar that serves unlimited lemon highball (i.e. hard liquor) out of a tap. The whole bar is lemon-themed. It was very cheap, like $10 for 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink lemon highball or something like that. Anyway, I'm not a heavy drinker by any means, but dear god, we got blasted. I don't think I can look at a lemon again without feeling mildly nauseous.
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when life is a lemon, suck on it
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when life is a lemon, suck on it
My life arrived pre-sucked.
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My life arrived pre-sucked.
when life sucks, eat a lemon. Eat it
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"Life is like a penis most people don't know it, but most people suck so they usually blow it." - Great Philosopher Jimmy Pop
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when life sucks, eat a lemon. Eat it
Imma try making some lemonade first.
Then i have something to drink, when i eat lemons.
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If I had that many lemons I would throw the biggest lemon party ever
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"When life gives you lemons, donât make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I donât want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see lifeâs manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? Iâm the man whoâs gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! Iâm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!â
So I just found out, that APPERENTLY, a LEMON, isn't naturally occurring, and is a hybrid by CROSSBREEDING a BITTER ORANGE with a CITRON! WHICH MEANS: LIFE NEVER GAVE US LEMONS! WE INVENTED THEM ALL BY OURSELVES!!
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When god gives you lemons, you find a new god.
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âWhen life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say âI love you,â the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she wonât have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-LemĂłn. A little accent over the âo.â You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. TimotheĂ© Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isnât âcoolâ or âtightâ or âawesome,â no, itâs âlemon.â âDid you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.â Billie Eilish, âOMG, hashtag⊠lemon.â You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins âcause thereâs nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits⊠and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate⊠you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for patent infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when youâre done, and youâve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."
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âWhen life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say âI love you,â the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she wonât have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-LemĂłn. A little accent over the âo.â You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. TimotheĂ© Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isnât âcoolâ or âtightâ or âawesome,â no, itâs âlemon.â âDid you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.â Billie Eilish, âOMG, hashtag⊠lemon.â You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins âcause thereâs nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits⊠and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate⊠you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for patent infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when youâre done, and youâve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."
What if life give you Climate Change?
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One must imagine the Minute Maid happy.
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When god gives you lemons, you find a new god.
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Watch out for lemon stealing whores.
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Last year, in Sapporo, I went to a bar that serves unlimited lemon highball (i.e. hard liquor) out of a tap. The whole bar is lemon-themed. It was very cheap, like $10 for 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink lemon highball or something like that. Anyway, I'm not a heavy drinker by any means, but dear god, we got blasted. I don't think I can look at a lemon again without feeling mildly nauseous.
That sounds incredible
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âWhen life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say âI love you,â the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she wonât have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-LemĂłn. A little accent over the âo.â You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. TimotheĂ© Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isnât âcoolâ or âtightâ or âawesome,â no, itâs âlemon.â âDid you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.â Billie Eilish, âOMG, hashtag⊠lemon.â You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins âcause thereâs nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits⊠and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate⊠you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for patent infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when youâre done, and youâve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."
What if the Lemons falling on us in this situation are all the billionaires doing exactly what you're saying - but exclusively with their made up bullshit lemons? Like illegal aliens, the "radical" left, and corporate taxes.
Because I'd love to turn that into lemonade, but the market is now so saturated in their fake outrage lemon bullshit to the point we no longer even agree on what lemonade is supposed to taste like.
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Watch out for lemon stealing whores.
Lol who hurt you?
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Lol who hurt you?
We do have a couple lemon stealing whores in this community
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Lol who hurt you?
(Whooooosh, but also donât look it up.)
