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  4. 🍋No. More. Lemons. 🍋please. [Will Santino]

🍋No. More. Lemons. 🍋please. [Will Santino]

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  • T [email protected]

    “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won’t have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-LemĂłn. A little accent over the “o.” You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. TimotheĂ© Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t “cool” or “tight” or “awesome,” no, it’s “lemon.” “Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.” Billie Eilish, “OMG, hashtag
 lemon.” You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins ‘cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits
 and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate
 you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for patent infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."

    thavron@lemmy.caT This user is from outside of this forum
    thavron@lemmy.caT This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #41

    I read this in the voice of Cave Johnson.

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    • R [email protected]

      Sorry, I should have used some sort of tag.
      It’s a reference to a 2017 YT vid and since become a meme.

      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #42

      you sure it was youtube? because that's literally a porno. same energy as "this isn't a beach, this is a bathtub!"

      R 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksK [email protected]

        Source: https://www.instagram.com/will_santino_illustration/p/CKNeAoUlC0M/?hl=en

        sol6_vi@lmmy.retrowaifu.ioS This user is from outside of this forum
        sol6_vi@lmmy.retrowaifu.ioS This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #43

        How To Basic

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        • lime@feddit.nuL [email protected]

          you sure it was youtube? because that's literally a porno. same energy as "this isn't a beach, this is a bathtub!"

          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #44

          It very well could be đŸ€Ł the beginning is definitely memes on YT

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          • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksK [email protected]

            Source: https://www.instagram.com/will_santino_illustration/p/CKNeAoUlC0M/?hl=en

            M This user is from outside of this forum
            M This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #45

            Sell the lemons and call it “life is giving you lemons”

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            0
            • Z [email protected]

              That sounds incredible

              J This user is from outside of this forum
              J This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #46

              we still remember it as "lemon night"

              M 1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksK [email protected]

                Source: https://www.instagram.com/will_santino_illustration/p/CKNeAoUlC0M/?hl=en

                H This user is from outside of this forum
                H This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #47

                That’s a Nemco 55850. If he can afford a $500 citrus juicer, his life is just fine.

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                • J [email protected]

                  we still remember it as "lemon night"

                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #48

                  Would you go as far as to say it was a party?

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                  • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksK [email protected]

                    Source: https://www.instagram.com/will_santino_illustration/p/CKNeAoUlC0M/?hl=en

                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #49

                    When God gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!

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                    0
                    • kersploosh@sh.itjust.worksK [email protected]

                      Source: https://www.instagram.com/will_santino_illustration/p/CKNeAoUlC0M/?hl=en

                      P This user is from outside of this forum
                      P This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #50

                      you're supposed to drink the lemonade, dummy.

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