As long as you aren't packing that bag to the seams, consider just sliding your feet under the bag.

I tend to be a "1.5 bagger" in that I have a small duffel/backpack in the overhead and my backpack/messenger bag for inflight stuff. And the latter gives me easy access to my steam deck or my kobo but is also more than small enough I can just slide my legs under and get a significant amount of legroom. ALSO has the benefit of making me lean back in my seat which means I don't care if the person in front of me "reclines"

A buddy of mine is 6'5" and he is just in hell no matter what. Like, anything short of one of the enhanced legroom rows is gonna suck whether he has a bag under the seat or not.

I'm often the last to leave the plane. By the time I reach the passport control/baggage claim areas I'm barely having to wait. I've never really understood how other adults are always in such a damn rush.

I love that video (and enjoyed the paper) but even the modified Steffen is bullshit. People will inevitably sit in the wrong row (sometimes on purpose, sometimes because they didn't pay attention what number started that block of seats and can't tell if "13" in between two rows is the first or second, they looked at the wrong ticket, etc) and it still falls apart for the reason people want to get on a plane sooner than later: Overhead bins are too small for the amount of luggage on a plane and people are monsters who put ALL their bags up there before sitting down.

My understanding is that, in practice, the best model tends to be what Southwest used to do (before everyone figured out how to abuse it). You board by number/group and just sit wherever the fuck you want to. Families group up and as long as you are in teh first half or so you are all but guaranteed your preferred seat type (window/aisle).

Combine that with no large bags (under seat or checked. nothing in between) and you would have a REALLY effective model that all passengers hate.

Tl;dw it's not just profits

taps head

I would simply have a comically short torso

I used to fly for work a LOT. At one point it was 2x a week for a year.

I have never once had my bags make it to baggage claim before me, even being the last person off the plane.

Or like that one time where I put my shampoo and conditioner in baggies so they wouldn't spill over my luggage, and TSA took them out to test the liquid, THEN PUT THE DE-LIDDED CONTAINERS BACK IN THE SUITCASE WITHOUT THE BAG.

Wasted all my shampoo and conditioner, and I had to do laundry in the shower on vacation because there wasn't a washer available.

i used to fly a lot back in the 90s. rarely had to wait for bags, even when taking the cattle car (old swa).

My legs are long af, and I’m cramped in that tiny fucking seat. Also, I probably have to pee.

Every time I’ve checked my bags I’ve been called a moron because my bags are going to get lost.

And sadly those people are not wrong, I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.

Same. But usually I opt to sit at the back. Sometimes I get a seat to myself and if not, one of the rows is reserved for medical and always free, so they let me have that. Then on landing, it's just a matter of laying back and catching up on my phone as the cattle crams itself into awful positions and just stands there staring at their comfy seats. But if the rear door is open, I'm straight off.

If you can't be first, you want to be last. This is the golden rule of embarking/disemmbarking an aircraft.

If you don't have checked baggage on a domestic flight then being in the back of the plane just means you're waiting longer to get on with your day

I hate the air on planes sitting on the ground. I always feel like I'm mildy suffocating.

So? Decelerate your life a bit.

Rushing to get out past the people in rows between you and the exit makes the suffocation last longer for everyone, though.

Try İstanbul airports - especially Sabiha Gökçen. They are really fast.

"You can't catch us all!"

You couldn't get away with just doing a carry on? It would have to be a 2+ week trip for me going through the hell of checking a bag.

This sounds like you've never missed a connecting flight. There are plenty of reasons people want to get off the plane.

Literally the fundamental attribution fallacy