this is accurate except for the bit about United - who the fuck flies United? don't people know that they break guitars?

I want the safety announcement at the start of the flight to say:

"You are in a flying metal coffin. Now imagine this coffin filling with smoke and fire. This plane only passes safety regulations because we simulated unboarding it with everyone behaving perfectly, leaving all of their crap behind. In an emergency, you MUST leave your stuff behind. Your life depends on it. The lives of everyone around you depend on it. If you see someone trying to take stuff with them, you MUST use whatever level of force is necessary to stop them. Even lethal force is justified. You must be prepared to tear someone to pieces if they don't leave their stuff behind. The lives of you and your family depend on the asshole in front of you letting their laptop burn."

That's the kind of boarding announcement I want to hear!

The selfish dickheads are the ones who get their panties in a wad when people get off the plane before them

Agreed it’s a combo of higher seat density and way more checked bags.

I swear in the 90s getting off a plane felt way quicker.

You undoubtedly also skip lines at counters because you're special

I think they should only let you put it in the overhead if it's over your seat. It's full? Tough shit. Check it.

^^ This is my take. Behave like an adult.

99% of the time, I don't have anywhere to be in a hurry, so I let others (who may or may not need to) go first.

I often travel with kids at this time in my life, but we just chill in our row until things get calm. Then we can grab stuff from overhead if needed, even if it's behind us.

On the occasions where I've needed to rush to make a connecting flight, I just say it out loud and get some buy-in from those around me, or it's already obvious and the whole cabin is probably aware. In those cases, getting non-pressured people to give you priority tends to work if you just ask.

I can imagine a class of passenger who is super dependent on timing -- but those people have already failed. PSA: When traveling, assume that you will not depart or arrive at the exact time on your ticket. Give yourself an hour or two to absorb delays and then you can just be chill.

The problem is underallocated overhead space. You give us maximum dimensions, and you know the number of seats. Fucking have sufficient overhead space.

They really need to load back to front, then unload front to back, if it was organized it would go so much better. Like announce when each group can stand and get bags and when each can leave.

Waiting in line to purchase something is entirely different from exiting a plane and I'm disappointed that I have to point that out to you.

Ah yes, the most human deboarding method. Children deboarding on their own. Families separated.

Hundreds of people trying to reunite at the gate all simultaneously.

That won't cause any downstream issues.

I just don't (entirely) agree about vacation families. Just like the airlines made their bad with paid checked luggage causing more cabin luggage, they did the same with paid seating. Most families wouldn't care where they sit - so long as they're together.

I male sure we always sit together, but for some, additional 200-500 USD/EUR for the whole trip is significant and may account for a good portion of the holiday budget.

Now one may say that then they shouldn't fly, but why? Again - airlines made this problem.

I've never flown but want to but all this crap news about airlines and people not understanding basic saftey issues is nerve racking.

IMHO there should be a child section in back.

But how can they sell priority boarding then? Just think for one minute about the poor airline companies! /s

If they're rude enough to cut, then they might be rude enough to "accidentally" bash past your leg.

There's an effect I see in situations like this where the people in a big hurried rush end up being slow asses because apparently they don't care about this working efficiently, they just care about when they can stop waiting.

On a plane these are the people who leap out of their seat and block your row, only to start searching for their bag once it's their turn to get off the plane.

I see the same from drivers at red lights. If there are multiple lanes waiting to go, and one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line, then in my very limited anecdotal experience there's like a 90% chance when the light turns green they just sit there for a few seconds after I start going.

Airlines: "Wait, but I thought if you unload front to back you get a UTI"

Let all 200 of you live a separate life for a year and you would all start killing one another as soon as you boarded the plane. By the time the plane landed all of 'you' would all have to be carried off.

one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line

In my limited experience these cars are driven by people so absorbed by their phones that they don’t realize they aren’t fully engaging the brakes.